Short attention span predictions

If only we'd mastered the haiku. Then we could sum up the races for best actor and actress with as few words as possible, since they're both pretty much foregone conclusions.

Instead, we'll just have to give you the ADD version, in our first day of Official Oscar Predictions. We'll be right except when we're wrong. Feel free to return daily, for purposes of poking fun at us later.

Best Actor

Nominees: George Clooney, Daniel Day-Lewis, Johnny Depp, Tommy Lee Jones, Viggo Mortensen

It's Daniel Day-Lewis, alright? There's a trail of trophies for him already and little debate about Oscar, even though some industry wags say he skated along the edge of parody and kind of got in his own way in the role of oil wildcatter and preacher basher Daniel Plainview. The movie itself was polarizing -- opinions ranging from "Brilliant!" "Masterpiece!" to "Huh?" -- but PTA does have his devotees and so certainly does Day-Lewis. It's his year, again.

Another question is, should he win? Among this bunch (and we love us some Johnny Depp) we'd really rather see Clooney take it for playing a character against type in a taut drama that kept us completely engaged from start to finish. But no matter how suave and philanthropic he is, he won't win. He'll have other chances.

Best Actress

Nominees: Cate Blanchett, Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard, Laura Linney, Ellen Page

Don't give us that Academy-loves-an-ingenue argument about Ellen Page (talk about somebody who'll have other chances), it's Julie Christie. No one would dare say that the chameleon-like Marion Cotillard wasn't heartbreaking and fabulous is "La Vie en Rose," but it's nearly impossible for a foreign-language actress to take this award. This year, no way, not when you consider how beautifully Christie handled the role of a vibrant woman in her early 60s struck down by Alzheimer's disease. She deserves it, and she'll get it.