Creative accounting

Words, not numbers, that's how we roll.

But since Oscar planning is now "full-steam ahead" and we'll be spared "the most exotic and entertaining clip show in the history of television," we figure it's a good time to take the temperature of the Academy Awards from the accounting side.

As THR's resident numbers-cruncher Steven Zeitchik reports today, Important Awards Movies aren't so high on the average multiplex monkey's list. We use that term affectionately and self-referentially, by the way. We'll cop to seeing tons of highly-profitable aesthetically suspect movies. "Stomp the Yard?" Loved it!

The five best picture nominees haven't cracked $300 million in domestic boxoffice, the worst showing in nearly two decades, and made up only 3% of the total grosses in '07. ("Juno" is jacking up the curve here with its unexpected $120 million and counting).

Since studios are still spending mightily In Pursuit of Awards for those movies that make modest (or practically no) bank, where's the ROI? Read more about those complicated reasons here.

Somebody is making money here, according to another story in today's THR.

ABC is raking in an average of $1.8 million per 30-second Oscar commercial, up from last year's average of $1.7 million a spot. Blue chippers like General Motors, P&G, American Express, Coca-Cola, McDonald's and Dove are throwing down their dollars for the so-called Super Bowl for Chicks.

And a couple of the most noteworthy stats of the day: writers are now working 12-13 hours a day on the Oscar telecast, and there will be 16 songs from "Enchanted" as part of the musical interludes. OK, we cooked the books on that one. See if you can guess where.