Ay caramba!

How do you say "waste of money" in Spanish?

We're combining a couple of newsy items here, so bear with us. A recent Variety story calls attention to the latest minutiae in the exhaustive legal fisticuffs between the Los Angeles-based Academy of Television Arts & Sciences and New York's National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, the keepers of all things Emmy.

This one involves Spanish-language shows like telenovelas and other programs produced outside the U.S. and whether they're eligible for an Emmy. Turns out they're not, unless they're partnered with a U.S.-based production company. (Otherwise, they're in International TV Academy territory).

The arbitration panel that came to that conclusion sided with ATAS and also ruled the group could sue its East Coast counterpart for legal fees. Variety's Michael Schneider sums up the financial drain of all this wrangling:

Both sides have together spent upwards of $3 million over the past year fighting each other. The impact on the already budget-crunched NATAS could be brutal.

Trying to figure out what any of this has to do with giving awards to outstanding television shows? Us, too. In lieu of legal maneuvering, we'd like to see the two sides as contestants on "Sabado Gigante," trying to settle some scores on the show's whacked-out playing field.

May we suggest pie fights at 20 paces?