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September 08, 2008

VMA stream of consciousness


An extremely on script Britney, a cheeky, filthy Russell Brand, Jordin Sparks rushing to the defense of the purity-ring-sporting Jonas Brothers -- chastity respect, yo! -- and Pink in a punk version of a Joey Heatherton 1960s-era body suit, with 90% more cleavage. Hey, was that a nipple? And why was Shia LaBeouf wearing a suit?

Kanye didn't win, and didn't throw a fit within earshot of anybody with a recording device, real-life Aquaman Michael Phelps mush-mouthed his way through an introduction, Lil Wayne showed us his underpants in their entirety, and Demi Moore appeared for no particular reason. Rihanna got an awful lot of face time, and we can now confirm that nobody, not even Ashlee Simpson, should have to be subjected to Pete Wentz.


These are some impressions of the MTV VMAs, which celebrated their 25th year by giving Britney Spears the biggest haul of the night, host Brand somewhat of a free reign and those of us in the overflow B-Tank an open bar. Maybe it should've been called the D-Tank? Sure made not being in the actual soundstage on the Paramount Studios lot a good deal easier to take, even if we did have to mingle with dozens of Kim Kardashian look-alikes in arse-grazing micro-mini-dresses and aggressive shoes.

Apparently it was a little chilly inside anyway, what with the confused reaction to Brand's political opening -- why didn't we think to call George Bush "that retarded cowboy fellow"? That's good stuff, right there. The condom jokes about Sarah Palin's future son-in-law? Brilliant. The crowd seemed more than a little confused by the mop-haired Brit comedian. And they were expecting ...?

Otherwise, Chris Brown won an award, McLovin tried to fit in with Slipknot with a streamer and popsicle stick mask, and if looks from an audience could kill, Paris Hilton would be dead.

Read some official stuff here.


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celebrities exposed

I love Britney. She is so hot wearing that dress.


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Oscar Contenders

  • So "The Dark Knight" didn't make it into the final five after all, never mind that critical and popular support. Let's just call the comic-inspired mega-hit "The Biggest Snubee."

    Here are the best picture contenders in a race that, two weeks away from the Oscars, seems to be a foregone conclusion ("Slumdog") unless there's a come-from-behind possibility ("The Reader" anyone?)

    "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," with Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett; the politically timely "Milk;" rags-to-riches fairy tale, "Slumdog Millionaire," Holocaust best-seller-based drama "The Reader," and Watergate-era biopic "Frost/Nixon."

    Could "Button" and "Slumdog" split the vote, allowing another film to take the prize? Doesn't seem likely. After having clung to "Button" for months as what we thought would be the Academy voters' top vhoice, our money's now on "Slumdog." Momentum can't be ignored.

    Watch this blog for updates, ephemera and all manner of postulating.

Picture this

  • Mmmmm, chocolate Oscar. Not every star will walk away from the 81st annual Academy Awards with a trophy, but if they hit the high-profile Governor's Ball they can have pastry chef Sherry Yard's gold-dusted candy version. Also on the menu from celeb chef Wolfgang Puck is tuna tartare in sesame miso cones, chopped Chino Farms vegetable salad with ginger soy vinaigrette, Maine lobster and caviar. Serve it up! (Getty Images)

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