'View' to a kill

Try though she might, Whoopi couldn't completely diffuse all the tension on the set of "The View" this morning. That whole long story about her disintegrating teeth? Distracting, but ultimately not that effective.

Can't we just jump straight to the knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling partisan-fueled catfight that's brewing between ultra conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck and liberal comedian Joy Behar? Read about the kerfuffle (with visual aids!), which came to a boiling point yesterday with Bill O'Reilly's visit.

In other controversy today...

We thought we'd heard that Razzie Award champ Lindsay Lohan was on the straight and narrow now, all coupled up and calmed down? Not so fast, says E! Read about LiLo's "Ugly Betty" shenanigans, which, if this report is to be believed, involves chain smoking (what else is new?), underwear missing (again, no news here), and scary collage making.

The bad behavior might have shortened the lifespan of LiLo's mean girl Kimmie on the show. Kiss those guest star trophy hopes goodbye.

Also in television, check out James Hibberd's progress report of the networks so far this season, complete with animal avatars! See how CBS is winning -- hint: "CSI" -- and ponder which Emmy-winning series could break the writer's strike curse -- it's "24."