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February 18, 2009

Uwe Boll's pledge drive


He's Germany's schlockmeister version of Ed Wood, but a whole lot more offensive and not half as clever, and he's set to get the Razzie Award this weekend for a lifetime of disgracing the big screen.

Now Uwe Boll wants you to help him keep doing more of the same.

Don't fall for it, people!

According to a completely horrifying story in a recent THR, Boll is looking for financing for his gestating piece o' crap, the terrorist disaster tale "Blackout." For $49, anyone can become a co-producer. No word on how much it'll cost you to light enough holy candles to purify yourself afterward.

77438221 Boll is looking for $18.5 million to make "Blackout," but he'll consider cutting that figure if he doesn't have much response on his specially created Web site ( If there's a little but not enough cash bailout to go forward, he'll send you most of your investment back. You read that right -- most.

If this God-forsaken project comes to fruition, and you've had a hand in that, you'll get a special edition DVD, a chance to win a trip to the set and other Boll-centric swag. And, of course, you'll go straight to hell.

Heard enough? We sure have.

Just remember, if you're even thinking about tossing some ducats at this "filmmaker," that his Razzie nominated "In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale," grossed an embarrassing $5 million on a $60 million budget last year. The violent videogame-based "Postal" launched on 13 screens this past summer and had such a dismal opening weekend the distributor didn't even report the numbers. Boll had said pre-premiere that his movie would blow the doors off competitor "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." Um, yeah.

Arrogant, greedy and soulless. This guy's so money. Why does he need any of ours?


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Oscar Contenders

  • So "The Dark Knight" didn't make it into the final five after all, never mind that critical and popular support. Let's just call the comic-inspired mega-hit "The Biggest Snubee."

    Here are the best picture contenders in a race that, two weeks away from the Oscars, seems to be a foregone conclusion ("Slumdog") unless there's a come-from-behind possibility ("The Reader" anyone?)

    "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," with Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett; the politically timely "Milk;" rags-to-riches fairy tale, "Slumdog Millionaire," Holocaust best-seller-based drama "The Reader," and Watergate-era biopic "Frost/Nixon."

    Could "Button" and "Slumdog" split the vote, allowing another film to take the prize? Doesn't seem likely. After having clung to "Button" for months as what we thought would be the Academy voters' top vhoice, our money's now on "Slumdog." Momentum can't be ignored.

    Watch this blog for updates, ephemera and all manner of postulating.

Picture this

  • Mmmmm, chocolate Oscar. Not every star will walk away from the 81st annual Academy Awards with a trophy, but if they hit the high-profile Governor's Ball they can have pastry chef Sherry Yard's gold-dusted candy version. Also on the menu from celeb chef Wolfgang Puck is tuna tartare in sesame miso cones, chopped Chino Farms vegetable salad with ginger soy vinaigrette, Maine lobster and caviar. Serve it up! (Getty Images)

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