What, no Election Bot? CNN's promising us holograms tonight so viewers can see voting results, and the cable network's correspondents, in a whole new "Star Trek" meets "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" kind of way.
Wolf Blitzer visual trickery! Creepy!
We'd rather see lovable trash compactor Wall-E run down the red state/blue state divide.
Can't help but be distracted today by, you know, the Most Important Election in our Lifetimes. We'll try to stay on point, using our patented Six Degrees of Awards Coverage where everything, including our early morning trip to the neighborhood Korean church/polling station, somehow relates back to major Hollywood trophies.
Speaking of which...What does the presidential election have to do with the Oscar race? Plenty, says brother blogger Steven Zeitchik.
The parallels between candidates in the spotlight and potential Oscar films are everywhere, from Clint Eastwood doing his best shotgun-toting "you kids get off of my lawn!" impression of John McCain in "Gran Torino" to Joe Biden as an off-the-ropes comeback kid a la Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler."
We would've backed a "Saw V"/Sarah Palin analogy, but that's just us.
Former Disney boss Joe Roth, whose Revolution Studios gave us a string of "comedies" like "Little Man," "White Chicks," "The Benchwarmers" and "Gigli," has made a groundbreaking discovery: African-Americans and Latinos are likely to vote Democratic! And they're soccer fans!
Our revelation about that Patrick Goldstein column: What a waste of the ever-shrinking L.A. Times news hole.
THR reports that networks are prepared to call the race when a candidate hits 270 electoral votes. That could be before our West Coast polls close. Don't let that discourage you, Californians -- there's still farm animals, the gays and gridlock to think about.
Counting down the hours until Emmy winners Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will arrive and make everything OK. Or at least make funnies.
Everybody -- go vote!