ABC upfront 1: Jimmy Kimmel

Deserving of his own post, here's a rundown of Kimmel's one-liners from the ABC upfront:

-- "Is this the WGA strike after-party or the SAG strike pre-party?"

-- "Here at ABC we’re very excited about both our new shows."

-- "We’re getting 'Scrubs,' because it’s always a good idea to borrow shows from people in last place."

-- "NBC says they’re rolling out new programming throughout the year. They may even have to go outside of Ben Silverman’s production company for some of it."

-- "NBC are calling it their "infront" this year because they’re just in front of the CW."

-- "We’re not doing a party this year. ABC may be the worst date ever -- we expect you to put out, but we don’t even buy you a drink."

-- "We decided to concentrate less on the after-party and more on shows that aren’t 'Cavemen.' "