Experiencing NBC's TV Funhouse

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From the moment you first see them -- the men in black with computer display screens embedded in their chests -- you know you're in for an experience. Or an Experience. The NBC Experience -- the upfront presentation/party/interactive museum/theme park ride. You know how "Saturday Night Live" has a cartoon segment called "TV Funhouse"? This is NBC Universal's TV Funhouse. A maze of interactive content that doesn't quite amaze.

About 3,500 people RSVP'd to, as NBC staffers say, "experience the Experience." It feels as if every one of them is crammed into the series of connecting rooms at the decked out NBC Experience Store in New York City. Shoulder-to-shoulder, you pass lighted pillars lined with projections of life-size NBC stars giving pre-taped messages. You pass LED lights streaming slogans such as "Content Integration" and "Green Is Universal."

Along the way, sections devoted to popular NBC Universal shows. You can pose with "Deal or No Deal" girls, pick up some "Office" bobbleheads or sample a bite from "Top Chef." All the while, NBC traffic cops wave their arms to move along, move along, keep Experiencing.

You begin feel as if you're on "Pirates of the Caribbean," only passing dioramas of familiar NBC Universal programming. You turn a corner, and up on a raised platform is another animatronic. But wait, this person is real. It's NBC Universal president and CEO Jeff Zucker. He's being interviewed by a reporter. Except the reporter is Nancy O'Dell and the section represents NBC Universal's “Access Hollywood." So it feels as if the company's CEO is just another part of the ride: Great Moments with Mr. Zucker. Passing ad buyers watch him give an interview to one of his employees rather than address them directly.

At some point, a reusable cloth bag is handed to you -- "Green Is Universal" – and you keep walking. The Experience feels like it’s building toward some climax. But you reach the light at the end of the tunnel it's just daylight from the street outside. Oh, and the new talking KITT car from "Knight Rider." The car is reminder that you haven't seen hardly anything about new NBC programming. And come to think of it, you haven't learned anything new about NBC Universal. You've fleetingly experienced the shows you already know, passing them by as if changing channels on your remote control, except now you know what Marcel Vigneron's foam-covered mushrooms taste like and exactly how tall the Wolf is from "American Gladiators."

A young advertising executive exits his Experience and blinks.

"I guess it’s over," he says, and looks down at his empty cloth recycling bag. "What do I do with this?"